It’s been a while since I’ve written on here, not that I’ve proven myself prolific in anything other than dreaming. I’ve been dreaming a whole lot about how our world is gonna pull itself together. So much so that I spent a good portion of New Year’s Eve writing about language and it’s possible impact upon humanity. Let’s keep pushing with our writing, our voice and our visuals. Let’s make windows and teach everyone to sniff the air that breezes in. I’m desperate for us to communicate better, to love fully, to live authentically, to be centered in the small moments. Truths, oh man do I want ALL the truths. This is what fills my mind today after reading Killarney Clary’s By Common Salt.
I want you to ask. Ok, I’ll ask. How do we ever find each other if we are not willing to risk looking like a fool? I mean all the way foolish, barefoot with dandelions, obsessed with seashells, desperate for a construction paper valentine foolish….
I meant for this entry to be about my last posting. To tell you (which is obvious now) that I survived the rappel. This is my official survival notice and thank you message. It was freezing and scary. I called a friend at 5AM in a panic who said he remembered me weighing less than a VW Bus (the weight limit of the ropes I would be using) and then demanded I like it. I shook on that roof for over an hour so by the time it was my turn I jumped over the edge wanting the ground and some coffee. On the side of the building it was all calm and I spent a bit of time taking in the view. Will I do it again? Probably. Once on the ground I drove to Maine and saw my friends, and rode the Margaret Chase Ferry to Islesboro, and swam in the ocean, and ate all of the whoopie pies and drank all of the wine. I wrote an essay that included a confession. I read all 1800 words of it to some seagulls. It was perfection or so their cries seemed to indicate…unanimous approval, that’s what I was going for.
So what about the mirror? Here’s the one liner from Clary that wrestled me to the ground today.
What can anything stand for if to promise is to freeze circumstance?
So many questions arise. Can we legitimately claim upset when a promise is broken? What circumstance are we trying to freeze/elicit with a promise request? To whoes benefit does the circumstance fall? How close to perfect can a human get? Is this about grace or personal subversion? How much will is too much? Should I apologize for not having these questions when I apologized even though you broke your promise just to prove that you could? Fiddlesticks.
Language. words. images. Even the slightest movement can cause us to react, to well up, to reach out, to fall in love.
Give in. Go Find your Whoopie Pie.
The Infinitesimals 